Life carries on

Looking at my logs, apparantly For Whom the Bell Tolls by John Donne is very popular.

Yes we all know the No man is an island part but why?

Answers on a postcard please.

Mirror Mirror on the wall

Next time you decide to snigger at someone you think it fat/thin/ugly/short/weird keep a thought in your mind for what might be going on in their head.

People judge on external appearance. There are evolutionary reasons for this, of course, we want to mate with those who are regarded as fit in order to maximise the chances for our offspring. It doesn't automatically mean that those who don't fit these criteria don't feel.

As a footnote to the article linked above, I'd just say that skinny people don't feel any less insecure.

[via Eros Blog.]

On a JET plane

I was tempted to join the JET program when I graduated college but this account of an American's experiences suggest it might have broken my naive fragile mind. An example:

Doctor skit again. I'd been helping these particular boys with vocabulary, so I kind of had an idea what was coming...but I was in no way prepared for it.

Boy 1: Oh, hi. What's wrong?
Boy 2: (clutching his stomach) I have a pain here. I can't go toilet.
Boy 1: When did it start?
Boy 2: Two months ago.
Boy 1: Ok. Open your buttcrack.

Now, "open your buttcrack" is already strange enough. That alone might have been enough to amuse me for the rest of the day. What killed me though, was when Boy 2 stood up, hunched forward a bit, and with a facial expression that looked like he was sucking on a lemon while someone was telling him the family dog had been killed horribly, twice, he made this unforgettable "Huuuaaaaoooouuuugggghhhhh....." noise. ...What the hell is that?! The open your buttcrack noise? For you video gamers out there, imagine Guile's defeat scream from Street Fighter II, except prolongued and...uh...more constipated. That, coupled with the face he made...it still cracks me up just thinking about it.

I mean really, there's nothing more I can say about "Open your buttcrack" and "huuuuaaaaoooouuuugggghhhh" that could possibly make it any funnier.

I am a good boy, honest.

Somewhat Debacherous You are 46% pure

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 25% on purity

Link: The 100 Point Sexual Purity Test written by ocicat on Ok Cupid

There is no try. Do or do not.

The Little Blue Engine
by Shel Silverstein
The little blue engine looked up at the hill.
His light was weak, his whistle was shrill.
He was tired and small, and the hill was tall,
And his face blushed red as he softly said,
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

So he started up with a chug and a strain,
And he puffed and pulled with might and main.
And slowly he climbed, a foot at a time,
And his engine coughed as he whispered soft,
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

With a squeak and a creak and a toot and a sigh,
With an extra hope and an extra try,
He would not stop now he neared the top
And strong and proud he cried out loud,
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

He was almost there, when
CRASH! SMASH! BASH!
He slid down and mashed into engine hash
On the rocks below... which goes to show
If the track is tough and the hill is rough,
THINKING you can just aint enough!

Some interesting thoughts on self-efficacy as opposed to confidence. Enough reading to keep me going for a day or two.

[via Limbic Nutrition.]

At Large no More

One of my favourite comedians, Dave Allen, has passed on. On his tombstone he wished the following:

Don't mourn for me now
Don't mourn for me never
I'm going to do nothing
For ever and ever.

Time to raise a glass of whiskey and smoke a cigarette to his legacy.
Dave, may your God go with you.

It's not a turd, it's a furd

Since Caity was complaining about people ordering third-pints at a bar it seemed appropriate to point out that beer is not fattening at all. Just as well, says I, or I'd be about a thousand pounds by now.

The more important question is, "Shall I go to the pub tonight to celebrate this new-found wonder?"

Driving Test

So yesterday I had my first driving test - I know it's late in life to be doing such things but growing up in Dublin city centre meant that there was never a need - and like a high percentage of people I failed. I wonder why the DSA go out of their way to make the process as daunting as possible. I failed on what it called a 'reverse bay park' which means reversing back between two parallel lines without touching them. Of course I went over a little but corrected it twice and therefore was considered not in control of the car. I think driving examiners are failed headmasters akin to John Cleese in Clockwise

On the plus side my retest is this day two weeks. Wish me luck.